Saul of Tarsus (a/k/a Paul), a devout Jewish Pharisee, needed a makeover of the heart that could only be performed by his Maker. He was an avid, vehement Bible-time witch hunter. He witnessed and condoned figurative "burnings at the stake." He feared "The Way's" effervescent and contagious followers of the recently crucified, supposedly blasphemous Jesus Christ.
To ardently display his devotion to God, Saul requested from leadership marching orders and received them. He doggedly pursued and persecuted Christians. Saul viewed terror in eyes and final breaths during his full-time crusade to persecute and "destroy the church" (Acts 8, The NIV Bible).
Saul thought he was the enlightened one. Saul thought he was strategic and justified. Saul thought, and Saul thought. Yet, Saul was passionately wrong. Then, that's when, on the fateful Road to Damascus, he heard Jesus' voice. His physical eyes became temporarily blinded, but his spirit registered 20/20 vision: "Saul, Saul, why do you persecute Me?"
Saul, renamed Paul, saw clearly and embraced a 180-degree turn-around. He experienced feelings of remorse because of his crusades. He felt like a father who accidentally traps his vulnerable child's finger in a car door, but Paul's intentional "accidents" were brutal times more hurtful to others. His writings elude to erased guilt: This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I [Paul] am chief (1 Timothy 1:15, a letter written by Paul to Timothy).
Paul could have nursed his remorse and felt hopeless. Filled with anguished tears he could have ruminated with overwhelming sorrow: "I can never repay my wrongs. I am the scum of the earth. I hate myself. Christ-followers fear me and will never trust this wretch. I'm useless! There's no way to bring Stephen's and others' lives back. I basically persecuted Savior God. The pain is torturous, like a searing heat. It screams: 'Act out! Inflict pain on yourself (cut, disfigure) anything for relief!' "
Instead, Paul balanced his remorse. During a hidden, indefinite sabbatical time, Paul sought for and received God's insight, mercy, and unconditional love. An indefinite, invisible, prolonged sabbatical is ideal for soul-searching and forgiveness. Driven Paul eventually refocused to positive things, like instructing Christians and writing encouraging love letters to churches.
Over the centuries, Paul's letters have strengthened countless "unblinded ones." John Newton, composer of the song Amazing Grace, was undoubtedly inspired by Paul's writings. He regretted the many souls who cruelly died on his slave trade ships in his greedy pursuit of money. Like Paul, Newton's eyes were finally opened.
 |
| But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory [grace+Truth+time] even as by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18, Paul's "been-there; done-&-doing-that" insight) |
Forgiving others is critical; forgiving oneself is, utmost, unnatural. To initially and clearly see through one's protective blinders or rose-colored denial glasses is impossible and potentially detrimental. I might turn on myself or others as a by-product of fear. IF (or when) I do clearly see, without the love of Jesus Christ, blinded hopelessness might be overwhelming.
Fear- and hopelessness-prevention, to walk through change, to do "ALL Paul things," most and utmost, are the reasons I need Jesus' unconditional love and tender, healing mercies. I need His forgiveness as I jostle through this life because I, too, am a chief sinner in dire need of The Great Optician.
I can do all [Paul] things through Jesus Christ who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13).
No comments:
Post a Comment