Thursday, 7:30 a.m., on the premiere morning of our 8:00 a.m. sale, shoppers wait in the driveway lurches. They are prepared to pounce. As my neighbor "Bob" opens his garage door to take his daughter to daycare, a rude couple barges in. "Please wait outside" says Bob.
"We just want to take a quick look."
"No. Out. We open at 8:00 a.m."
"We need to get to other garage sales, so we'll be just a minute."
That is just one of the unsavory garage sale experiences we encounter. The main offense, however, occurs throughout our Garage Sale's Black Friday, Day Two, and is the real-life material on which Friends' Elaine and I Love Lucy's Lucille Ball birth and thrive.
At 7:45 a.m. our catty-corner, always guarded neighbor opens his garage door to prepare for his Saturday monster moving sale (we didn't know he was moving). His shiny BMW-like inventory makes ours look like a rusty VW; and, his highly visible location makes him king of the corner. Every excited shopper believes they are arriving to our twice-posted Craigslist sale. In other words, Neighbor Rich richly benefits from our meticulous homework and plentiful signs. Our hoped-for customers spend all of their money at his sale (even though he isn't officially open yet).
I attempt to "go to the mattresses" (The Godfather) waving, re-positioning signage, and performing back flips for customers to see us, but they're star-struck. We are like the little bookstore being overtaken by superstore Fox Books [You've Got Mail]. Shoppers spend all of their time and money at the ultimate sale, ignoring our now elusive little Shop Around the Corner.
Alas, our well-advertised sale is invisible; Rich's unadvertised pre-sale is a Black Friday bonanza. Shoppers deliriously leave his garage with boatloads of bargains. Rather than fight a losing battle, at 10:30-ish, we crack: "Even though this morning he told me their garage sale starts tomorrow, it looks like he's selling, big time. Let's take turns and find some deals!"
We finally surrender and close our meager sale, 3 hours early, at noon. Why not.
What happens next throws me for a loop. Maybe I'm overly-sensitive, and maybe I have spurts of mania. Maybe I sometimes cry at the drop of a hat, double-post a sale just-in-case, put up seemingly 1,000 signs, hang yard streamers, play music at our sale, and even offer .50-cent and sometimes free cans of pop just for people's refreshment and enjoyment. But now enters Friends, I Love Lucy, and a surreal Twilight Zone episode, blended like a green smoothie and unexpectedly spewed everywhere.
A mere 30 minutes later, at 12:30, Neighbor Rich also closes his garage, for the day! (We later learn because of heat.) Whaaaaaat????? We could have stayed open longer? It wasn't that hot. NOW we feel like chihuahuas tumbling in a clothes dryer.
I soon need to leave for my husband's 2:00 tongue surgery appointment. A twist of fate? By this time a trifecta of tongue surgeries could be needed. Sara was planning to man our mid-afternoon sale, but that was nixed by Richie Rich.
Even counting Friday's money is unduly cray-cray. Thursday's larger totals balanced perfectly, but our brains are mush. As we wearily count and recount, we muse about the Black Friday shoppers. Poor Sara, holding her teething 5-month-old, unknowingly picked up a shopper's item and was almost karate chopped, shunned, and verbally shamed. The ambidextrous grandmother somehow stuffed a child-sized pink rocking horse and child's kitchen into her pockets. Hmmmm. Maybe her tongue needed surgery, too.
Lucy and Ethel... and Jerry and Elaine, are wearily sprawled out on living room furniture in their respective staged Cracker Jack-sized apartments. After an episode of co-maneuverings with crazy-cray, their hair looks as frazzled and frizzed as Kramer's. They're a bit delirious, and they (and we) ask: What on earth happened today???
We intentionally grind the old VW gears, from temperamental forward to positive and resourceful reverse. We rehearse the good things, including de-cluttering our homes, earning extra spending money, and donating to good causes. Rather than end this episdoe with a poor taste in our mouths, we attack life rather than allowing life to attack us, with a free offer to Neighbor Rich: "Would you like our 6 deluxe garage sale signs? In case of rain, the plastic coating will be helpful."
Just as the rudder directs a ship's course, the tongue sets the course of relationships (James 3:1-4). It can be used as a sword to bring death and bondage; or, it can bring life and freedom. When my tongue spreads abundance, everyone benefits, including myself (getting to know Sara and other neighbors better, managing to get a deal on a needed compact refrigerator, and even ending up with a blog).
Two of my top five strengths were well exercised: 1) Harmony [i.e. middle-child-raised-in-an-alcoholic-home syndrome] and, 2) Empathy.*
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| Fishers of men, women & neighbors |
*Post note: Through random circumstances the week before our sale, a generous neighbor down the street freely gave us those 6, deluxe, plastic-coated garage sale signs on stakes (a $15 value) PLUS free price stickers ($4). AND, he suggested we have the sale on Thursday/Friday rather than Friday/Saturday. We advertised on Craigslist with no overhead costs, so why not Pay It Forward to Richie Rich, with deluxe free signage?
I am a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. I would do anything for Him, including positively participating in a once every 30 years experience; co-hosting a crazy garage sale with Neighbor Sara, initiated by her. And, how could we not Pay It Forward in another way? to forgive an overwhelmed, naive competitor. (Savior God has forgiven me of so much more, John 3:16).
I am a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. I would do anything for Him, including positively participating in a once every 30 years experience; co-hosting a crazy garage sale with Neighbor Sara, initiated by her. And, how could we not Pay It Forward in another way? to forgive an overwhelmed, naive competitor. (Savior God has forgiven me of so much more, John 3:16).
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